Recommended Adult Books for Parents Who Conceive Children Through Assisted Reproductive Technologies

Compiled from Various Sources as of June 2012, by Colleen M. Quinn, Esq., The Adoption & Surrogacy Law Center, Fellow – AAAA & AAARTA, www.reproductionattorney.com

Telling and Talking

A valuable set of resources discussing how to talk through issues arising from assisted reproduction for parents and their children at various stages. Delivers a guide for discourse to ensure family stability and growth.

Mommies, Daddies, Donors, and Surrogates

If you need help having a baby, reproductive technology can supply the answer. But it also raises a host of questions that won’t arise until after the child is born: What will you say to “Where did I come from?” when the answer includes a donor or surrogate? Will knowing the truth about how you conceived make your child love you less? Will having a baby with someone else strain your relationship with your spouse or partner? What will grandparents, family members, friends, and coworkers think? Dr. Diane Ehrensaft–a developmental and clinical psychologist who’s worked with families formed using assisted reproductive technology for more than 20 years–helps you anticipate the big questions and find solutions that are right for you and your loved ones. Dr. Ehrensaft offers information, support, and straightforward advice for coping with private worries, confronting public prejudices, and raising happy, healthy children. Single or married, straight or gay, anyone looking forward to the joys and challenges of building a family with the help of a donor or surrogate will discover a wealth of thought-provoking ideas and fresh insights in this sensitive, practical, and positive book.

  • By: Dr. Diane Ehrensaft
  • The Guilford Press; 1 edition (July 6, 2005)
  • Intended for Adults
  • Available at Amazon.com

Having Your Baby Through Egg Donation

The most thorough exploration of the medical, ethical, and psychological aspects of egg donation currently in print, including sections on how, when, and who to tell.

  • By: Ellen Glazer
  • Publisher: Perspectives Press (April 2005)
  • Intended for Parents Considering Reproductive Assistance
  • Available at Amazon.com

Building a Family with the Assistance of Donor Insemination

A detailed description of how to plan for a live in a family built with the assistance of donor insemination. A good resource for parents of children born through ovum donation, sperm donation, surrogacy, gestational care, and embryo donation.

  • By: Ken Daniels
  • Publisher: DunmorePress (2004)
  • Intended for Adults
  • Available at Amazon.com

Experiences of Donor Conception, Parents, Offspring, and Donors Through the Years

Fascinating exploration of using donor conception (egg donation, sperm donation, embryo donation), which draws heavily on first hand experiences of parents, offspring and donors and includes the author’s own family story. Special emphasis on how and when to tell children and “real life” examples of family’s experiences. Strongly supportive of open-ness with children.

  • By: Caroline Lorbach
  • Publisher: Kingsley Publishers (2003)
  • Intended for Parents and Children in Assisted Reproduction Families
  • Available at Amazon.com

Choosing Assisted Reproduction: Social, Emotional, and Ethical Considerations

Comprehensive overview of IVF, GIFT, ZIFT, ICSI, ovum donation, sperm donation, surrogacy, gestational care, and embryo donation which helps fertility patients think through the psychological, social and ethical implications of these procedures. Suggestions on how and when to tell children about their origins is included.

  • By: S. Cooper & E. Glazer
  • Publisher: Perspectives Press (1998)
  • Intended for Adults
  • Available at Amazon.com

The Long Awaited Stork: A Guide to Parenting After Infertility

One of a kind resources for parenting after infertility including sections on what (and when) to tell your child about their conception and/or birth, who else to tell, and how to handle lingering feelings of loss. Appropriate for parents of adopted children; sperm donor, egg donor parents; parents who used surrogates; parents of special needs kids; and parents raising children conceived in different ways.

  • By: Ellen Glazer
  • Publisher: Jossey Bass Press (1998)
  • Intended for Adults
  • Available at Amazon.com

Building Your Family Through Egg Donation – What You Will Want to Know About the Emotional Aspects, Bonding, and Disclosure Issues

Psychosocial implications of egg donation including sections on egg donor screening, motivation, bonding, disclosure issues; guidelines for telling your maturing child about the gift, and more.

  • By: J.S. Friedman
  • Publisher: Jolance Press (1996)
  • Intended for Adults
  • Available through the Author

Flight of the Stork: What Children Think (And When) About Sex and Family Building

This book is about how kids think about sex, reproduction, and how families are created.  It is not necessarily specific to kids conceived through ART, but the information on the developmental stages of a child’s understanding is very helpful for parents when discussing the special way the child was conceived. Enlightening interviews with children aged 3-12 provide insight into the minds of young children and how their concepts and questions about sex and reproduction change over time. This version includes references to donor insemination, assisted reproductive technology and surrogacy. This book is was revised in 1994, but the information on child development is still current. Valuable resource for parents in communicating with their children about the special circumstances of their origins.

  • By: Anne Bernstein
  • Publisher: Perspectives Press (1994)
  • Intended for Parents and Children at various ages
  • Available at Amazon.com

Choosing to Be Open: The Experiences of Parents

Short book consisting of conversations with 52 parents who participated in group discussions to talk about their experiences being open about donor conception.

  • By: S. Pettle & J. Burns
  • Publisher: Donor Conception Network (1988)
  • Intended for Adults
  • Available at www.donor-conception-network.com

Special thanks by Colleen Quinn to those who compiled before me:

Dawn Davenport – Creating a Family. http://www.creatingafamily.org/

The Education Committee, Spring 2007, of the Mental Health Professional Group of the American Society for Reproduction Medicine (ASRM): Kim Kluger-Bell, MFT, Chair, Jana Frances Fisher, Ph.D. Jennifer Adams, Ph.D. (based on the Children’s Bibliography compiled by Elaine Gordon, Phd, and Ellen Speyer, MFT)

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