A variety of ways exist for locating a surrogate or gestational carrier. Learning about each option will allow you to make the best choice for you and your assisted reproductive technology journey. None of these choices are meant to be an endorsement for any particular method since every situation is unique.
- Friends and Family.
- Some intended parents reach out to friends and relatives as one method of locating a surrogate. Usually this is done just be sharing openly the desire to find a surrogate including via social media or an annual holiday card. Oftentimes if a friend or family member comes forward the arrangement will be a compassionate or quasi-compassionate arrangement which means that the intended parents will benefit by not having to pay as much money to the surrogate. The intended parents also may avoid the cost of paying a hefty surrogacy program fee.
- There are advantages and disadvantages when choosing a friend or family member to be the surrogate. Because the surrogate is known, and the arrangement is friendly, many times the parties are reluctant to adhere to the usual safeguards and requirements especially the psychological clearances and counseling sessions. However, it is critical in these arrangements that the same protocols are followed to ensure a positive relationship and define the roles and expectations of all involved. Discussions with the fertility specialists, mental health professionals and lawyers can illuminate sensitive topics, such as future contact with the child, pregnancy termination, and other issues that may arise during the arrangement.
- Independent Search.
- The internet is filled with on-line search sites, chat rooms, and advertisements from gestational carrier candidates who are individually marketing themselves to intended parents. Also, there are a growing number of websites where intended parents can post their intended profiles for consideration by a prospective surrogate. This can be an effective way of locating a surrogate as the internet significantly increases the number of potential candidates that intended parents may consider and expands the geographical scope of the search. Intended Parents also can use social media, local and college newspapers and other means to locate a surrogate on their own.
- The primary advantage to using the independent search route is that intended parents can avoid the cost of paying a surrogacy program to match them. However, careful scrutiny of any prospective candidates is paramount, and intended parents should utilize professionals to assist including with regard to the use of background forms, pre-screening, conducting background checks, mental health screening, medical evaluations, group counseling, and representation by separate qualified attorneys for both the surrogate and the intended parents. Oftentimes the fertility clinic and/or the attorneys involved can ensure that all prerequisites and safeguards are met. For more information on the steps that all parties should take before entering into a legal agreement, see this list.
- Note that sometimes a surrogate will present a contract that she may have gotten from the internet or perhaps used in a previous arrangement – this should not be used in a new arrangement. Laws vary widely from stat-to-state and attempting to use such a document will inevitably cause problems.
- Attorneys.
- Some attorneys run Surrogacy Programs (which are addressed below), while some provide matching services and others assist with the independent search process by providing guidance and coordination services such as ensuring all prerequisites and safeguards are met. It is important to research the attorney thoroughly to ensure that the attorney is sufficiently qualified to assist in the search process. Again, it is best to work with those that are members of and also adhere closely to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) recommendations and guidelines as they will engage in all of the proper protocols for medical and mental health screening, group counseling, background checks, separate independent legal representation and the other recommended prerequisites.
- Fertility Clinics.
- Some fertility clinics offer matching services as part of their overall medical services. It is best to work with those that are members of and also adhere closely to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) recommendations and guidelines as they will engage in all of the proper protocols for medical and mental health screening, group counseling, background checks, separate independent legal representation and the other recommended prerequisites.
- Surrogacy Programs.
- Surrogacy programs may sometimes refer to themselves as surrogacy agencies but, unlike licensed adoption agencies, there is no licensing or credentialing system in place whereby surrogacy programs are regulated or apply for any state licensure or credentialing Moreover, surrogacy brokers or programs are prohibited in some states; therefore, it is important to be careful when selecting a surrogacy program. Some surrogacy programs are members of and follow the recommendations of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) and the most up to date protocols for matching while others are not as familiar or do not comply with such standards. Some programs are very familiar with legal requirements while others are not familiar with the legal specifics from every state from which they recruit surrogates or carriers. This can lead to inaccurate or confusing information about how an arrangement actually will proceed. For example, a surrogate may be promised “compensation” or “lost wages” despite living in a state that does not allow for any payments to be so characterized. This also means that the one-size fits all “fee sheets” prepared by some programs may not adhere to the individual laws of all states involved in the legal aspects of the arrangement Moreover, intended parents may be promised that they can obtain a “pre-birth order,” when some states do not allow for legal parentage to be established until after a child is born. Surrogacy programs that are owned by or work closely with attorneys typically are more familiar with and adhere to all applicable legalities. Before signing up with a program, intended parents and surrogates ideally first should consider speaking with an attorney so that they understand the specific laws that could affect the arrangement.
- One advantage of working with a surrogacy program is that many will aggressively recruit surrogates and carriers so that there is a more diverse and larger geographic pool of surrogates or carriers from which to choose. However, a disadvantage of using a surrogacy program is the cost charged for their services. Before agreeing to retain any matching/coordinating program, it is important to:
- thoroughly research the program;
- understand the total fees and when they are due, and the refund policy, if any;
- know exactly what services will be provided;
- know what type of screening has been done of the surrogate/carrier and by whom;
- know how long it might take to locate a surrogate;
- know exactly what support the program provides to the intended parent(s) and the surrogate throughout the process and whether separate representatives within the program will be provided to each.