Adoption and surrogacy offer very different ways to start or expand your family. Choosing one or the other is an emotional decision that is guided by deeply personal experiences or beliefs. This choice also is often governed by financial ability.
Whether you begin your journey as a single person or a same-sex or heterosexual couple, it is important to be realistic about what each option offers.
Two Ways to Build a Family
Let’s take a look at what surrogacy and adoption are and consider how they differ in several important respects. While there are many other factors to consider in weighing the benefits of adoption vs. surrogacy, we hope this overview will help.
What Is Adoption?
Adoption is a legally recognized arrangement where a child is given a permanent home with an individual or family once their biological parents have relinquished or lost their parental rights. Adoptive parents have full parental authority over and responsibility for an adopted child. There are several types of adoption, including:
- Adoptions from foster care through public agencies
- Adoptions arranged through a private agency
- Independently arranged adoptions between parties
- International Adoptions typically arranged through governments or agencies in other countries in coordination with an agency in the United States
What Is Surrogacy?
Surrogacy is an arrangement wherein a woman agrees to have a child for the benefit of another individual or family. It can include:
- A “traditional” surrogacy, where a woman uses her own egg to conceive a child on behalf of another individual or couple using artificial fertilization, or
- A gestational surrogacy, where an embryo is created from eggs and sperm from both (or one of) the intended mother and father, or from donors, is implanted in the surrogate.
- In such event the surrogate is typically called a gestational carrier or gestational surrogate
Surrogacy can be altruistic or truly compassionate, where a woman (usually a relative or close friend) voluntarily bears a child for an intended parent or parents and has her out of pocket costs covered. Or it can be considered an arms-length arrangement, where a surrogate is reimbursed additional living or household expense amounts beyond her medical costs and pregnancy-related expenses.
Adoption vs. Surrogacy
Adoption and surrogacy each describe a wide variety of ways to form a family. There are, however, fundamental differences between the two.
Genetic Relationships
If being biologically related to your child is important and the financial ability to afford surrogacy is available, then gestational surrogacy may be the better choice. The ability to have one or both parents genetically related to a child is an important reason why many families prefer surrogacy. Also, if the intended parents do not use their own genetic parts but choose donor egg or sperm, they still have control over the choice of the genetic parts. In surrogacy the intended parents have more legal control over the pregnancy since the surrogate’s care of herself and the child during the pregnancy is governed by contractual terms. Being biologically connected to the child also gives parents more legal control in securing their legal parentage.
On the other hand, in adoptions the adoptive parents are not the genetic parents and the arrangement is not governed by contract. In such instances, the birth parents have a much greater emotional decision to make in deciding to place their own genetic child with another family. Additionally in adoption, the adoptive parents do not have any legal control over the care given by the birth mother over herself and the child during the pregnancy.
Differing Costs
An adoption of a child from foster care is supported by the state, which will in many cases cover most if not all legal and other costs and even provide a stipend to assist in the care of the child. In foster care cases most adoptive parents do not come out of pocket or have minimal expenses. On the other hand, adoptions through a private agency or independent adoptions will have higher legal costs including matching fees charged by the agency, for an agency adoption.
The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services estimates the average cost of adopting a child in the U.S. at between $20,000 and $45,000 for private and independent agency adoptions. The cost of international adoptions varies greatly depending on the countries involved, but typically run upwards of $45,000 due to immigration and other added complexities as well as travel costs.
Costs associated with surrogacy are almost always higher than adoption and are also less predictable because they involve complex medical procedures, pregnancy, and childbirth. CoFertility, an online fertility resource center, estimates that the cost of a surrogate arrangement in the U.S. when a surrogacy program is involved can fall between $100,000 and $200,000, with no guarantee of success.
On the other hand, self match or independent journey as well as compassionate arrangements can be done under $100,000.
Screening and Matching
In private adoptions, prospective adoptive parents will be home study approved with regard to a specific type of child. For example, they may be home study approved to adopt a child age 2 or under or they may be approved to adopt a child of a specific race or background or that does or does not have special needs. They also may be able to specify certain criteria about the adoption opportunities they are seeking, but generally should be open-minded to have the best chance of success. Likewise, a placing parent has the right to choose that adoptive family of his or her choice that meet certain criteria that are of importance to the placing parents. For example, a placing parent may desire an adoptive family that has no children or that already have at least one adopted child. Or the placing parent may desire an adoptive family that is of a certain age or occupation or at a certain socio-economic level or is of a certain ethnicity or race. Ultimately, the placing parent has the final choice over the family that adopts his or her baby, and the court has to determine overall that the adoption is in the child’s best interest.
Virginia law currently does not permit surrogacy programs to receive a fee for matching intended parents and surrogates. Therefore, intended parents and prospective surrogates should consult legal counsel before working with a surrogacy program so as not to be complicit in a criminal statute. Virginia law however, does not prohibit self-matching or matches where no match fee is being charged. Regardless of how the match occurs, there are numerous screening prerequisites that need to be met in order for a surrogate or gestational carrier to be accepted.
Lawyers, the medical providers, prospective parents, and surrogates are all responsible for ensuring that a surrogacy process is in all parties’ best interests.
Parental Control
In adoptions the largest aspect that the adoptive parents cannot control is whether the placing parent ultimately decides to go through with the adoption plan. They also do not have much control over the child’s genetic make up or the prenatal care.
To the contrary, in surrogacy the intended parents have considerable control over the child’s genetic make up and through proper screening of the surrogate and enforceable contractual terms have fairly good control over the prenatal care. The largest aspect that intended parents cannot control in surrogacy is whether the surrogate or gestational carrier ultimately becomes pregnant and carries a success pregnancy to term.
A Practice Devoted to Building Families
If adoption or surrogacy are options you are considering to build your family, you’ll need good legal advice to navigate many potentially complex decisions.
Quinn Law Centers’ dedicated Adoption and Surrogacy Law Center offers deep expertise across all types of adoption and assisted reproductive techniques. A Virginia adoption attorney, Colleen M. Quinn offers deep experience assisting intended parents, adoptive parents, placing parents, surrogates, gestational carriers and donors or donor recipients to achieve their goals.
The Adoption and Surrogacy Law Center offers a full range of adoption, surrogacy, and assisted reproduction services. Click below to learn more.